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Random thoughts

Hello! So today I was inspired to create a few Christmas cards. I had them all drawn out in my mind and they were going to be very cute! Or so I thought! I sat down to get started and my mind went blank! All creativity just got sucked right out of me! Don’t you hate when that happens? It’s been happening to me a lot lately. My doctors are playing around with my psych meds again and boy has it thrown me for a loop! I just want to stay on the council and sleep and watch Netflix all day. Unfortunately, that can’t happen so I dragged myself out of bed and into my craft room. Today was the first time I have felt inspired in a while so I was feeling pretty good. That is, until my mind went blank anyway.  I have been sitting here for doing he past hour trying to make at least 1 card, but so far I got nothing. Zip! Oh well, maybe it will come back to me. Has that every happened to you? I find it incredibly annoying! To be honest, I haven’t been in the mood for much lately. I find I have no spunk, drive, or anything. I’ve just been blah! Hopefully they get my meds straightened out so I can get off my butt! I’ve been on psych meds for years to treat my bipolar and schizophrenia but it still throws me for a loop every time they have to adjust them. It seems we find something that works for a while but then they stop.

The one thing I find most frustrating with being medicated is that I feel like I am not as creative or artistic as I used to be. I still create things and get my artistic inspiration, I don’t know, it’s just different. I’m sure it’s a good thing I’m not in my craft room making things for three or four days straight, ignoring everything and everyone else. No, I know I made the right choice to be back on my meds. The darkness that nearly consumed me and took me to a place I never want to be again is contained and held at bay with my meds. For that I am truly grateful. So, I deal with the ins no outs of medication adjustments and whatever else is needed to do what I need to to be a better mom and wife. I have been blessed to be married to my high school sweetheart who has seen me before being medicated and at my craziest and yet he has stayed by my side through it all. He must be as crazy as I am, haha! My kids make me want to stay on my meds because I don’t want them to see the other side of me. My mom was schizophrenic and wasn’t medicated until later in life. I don’t want my kids to have memories of me being crazy like I have of my own mom. She was a great person and I have a lot of happy memories off her, but I also have scary ones as well. So, I will continue to try for my family.

Anyway, that is enough rambling. I think I will make another attempt at creating something. I hope you have a great day and and enjoy life’s sweet moments!

 

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